Is Thanksgiving serving a side of stress with your turkey?
Dear Readers,
I hope this finds you well after a Thanksgiving filled with connection, warmth, and, hopefully, some excellent food. Whether you spent it with family or chosen family, I hope you felt joy in the moment — or at least found humor in the chaos. For some of us, Thanksgiving is a highlight of the year; for others, it’s a masterclass in managing emotions, expectations, and, let’s face it, stress.
Let’s talk about that stress for a second.
As Filipinos, we’ve been taught to value resilience — “tiis,” as we often say. But too often, that resilience comes at the expense of our mental health. Seeking help is sometimes treated like a weakness, yet we’d never judge someone for getting a check-up, a flu shot, or even a facial. Why, then, is caring for our inner world met with side-eye?
If you’ve been waiting for a sign to prioritize your mental health, let this be it.
One concept that’s transformed my thinking is metacognition — thinking about how we think. Arthur Brooks calls it a superpower, and I couldn’t agree more. Metacognition allows us to observe our own thought patterns, detach from their emotional charge, and consciously choose a more constructive way forward. Think of it as stepping outside yourself for a moment and looking at your thoughts with curiosity rather than judgment.
Watch: Arthur Brooks interview with the Institute for Humane Studies whose goal is to promote the teaching and research of classical ideas and to advance higher education’s core purpose of intellectual discovery and human progress.
Arthur Brooks is an author, Harvard professor, social scientist, and former president of the American Enterprise Institute, with expertise in behavioral economics and public policy.
Here’s an example: Imagine you’ve had a falling out with a loved one. Without metacognition, you might spiral into self-doubt or anger, replaying the argument and justifying your feelings. But with metacognition, you pause and notice how you’re reacting. You might realize that your anger is masking sadness or that your self-doubt stems from an old fear of rejection. This awareness gives you the power to respond instead of react.
Metacognition is the bridge between our emotions and our choices. It’s not about suppressing your feelings — it’s about recognizing them and deciding how to move forward. For me, this has been a game-changer, especially during high-stress seasons like the holidays with loved ones or even at work, where I must ascertain between my emotions and the greater good of my company and team led by logic and compassion.
By practicing this skill, I’ve learned to give myself grace, recognize old patterns, and create space for something new. It’s also helped me show up as a more helpful and productive citizen, contributing to my community with clarity, compassion, and purpose.
I also want to highlight an incredible resource for those navigating this path: Sweet Mango Therapy Group. Based in California, this Filipina-led telehealth provider brings a deeply rooted understanding of Philippine cultural values — both their beauty and their challenges when it comes to mental health. Their mission is to empower Filipina/x/o and AAPI women and families to overcome mental health challenges and thrive.
Christine R. Melendres, LCSW, Founder Sweet Mango, Licensed Clinical #96049
For instance, our emphasis on family (or religion) can offer incredible support, but it can also create pressure that makes seeking outside help feel like a betrayal. Sweet Mango’s therapists navigate this balance with empathy, bridging the gap between our heritage and modern mental health care.
This Thanksgiving weekend, I encourage you to explore the possibility of prioritizing yourself — your thoughts, your feelings, and your overall well-being. Here are three ways to begin:
Break Bread Mindfully: Whether it’s lechon leftovers or pandesal with coffee, pause to truly savor the moment. Gratitude, in its simplest form, starts here.
Reconnect With Tradition: Call a relative, sing a karaoke classic, or make a dish from scratch that reminds you of home. Nostalgia can ground us in ways we don’t always expect.
Create Space for Yourself with a Breathing Exercise: Sometimes, the simplest way to reset is through your breath. Here’s a quick exercise:
Sit in a comfortable position, feet flat on the floor, with your hands resting on your knees.
Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of 4, feeling your belly expand.
Hold the breath for a count of 4.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 6, letting all the air out.
Repeat this cycle 5 times.
This simple practice activates your parasympathetic nervous system, calming your body and mind in just a few moments.
Your mental health matters as much as your physical health, and seeking support doesn’t make you less Filipino — it makes you stronger.
Take care, and break bread with love,
Nicole